Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
