is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
