from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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