Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize