Pappa wants mamma naked
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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