girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize