my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
