he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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