I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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