Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
