My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize