So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
oh god was she eating orange peels again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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