i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
