I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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