I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
no, he came in my armpit
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize