I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
