Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
