she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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