I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize