What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
