All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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