I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize