He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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