I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
