I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
