I wish I could teleport
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
