so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
