I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
