Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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