We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
