put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
