Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize