VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
