His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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