you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
