i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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