covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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