Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
