Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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