Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
