For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
