Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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