let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i now understand why vodka
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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