What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
