omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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