Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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