Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
