Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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