i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
