You're so nebulous sometimes
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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