So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
