Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize