I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
