You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
