I hate all girls vehemently.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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