Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
