The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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