i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
