I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Mom said you looked used
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
