it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
