is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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