so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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