I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
