Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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