Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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