I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Four minutes until I can fart!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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