Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
